Friday, 4 December 2009

They come and go...ana will always be there for you

Last year I did experiment with ana, not officially so I didn't loose much weight. Then I began to eat...A LOT, literally every meal, every snack, anything that was handed my way. I gained so much weight, became so unhappy. This was when I realised I love ana. ANA. I strive to reach it, my biggest fear is for it to slip away. Which is why I don't care about anything else anymore. I made a mistake, ana wasn't my biggest priority, so I'm sorry for that...I guess as long as I'm working towards ana, everything else will fall behind, hopefully not too far though. Friends, family, school work, successes, all mean so much to me(don't get me wrong), I just need to be thin.

ABC was been working, I swear it has. When I put my legs together there are gaps between my thighs. I now have a slimming to my waist, which I love. These past few days I haven't been doing well though, which ruins so much, my bf and I broke up, causing me to eat my weight in food. It's not that I don't agree with the break up, I just feel lost. As if I can't remember how I felt about anything, I must have been so absorbed in myself.

Eating wise today:

Ham salad sandwich (wtf?!)=200
Crisps (I could cry)=100
Extra nibbles=100
400. Not as bad as I feared, I just can't go over that. Today I was only suppose to have 300 calories but I won't restart the diet. These tough few days are excuse enough, I should think.

12 Followers. Finally I have people to share this with, people who will comment and people I can share a whole part of my identity with, that no-one else knows about.

Stay strong darlings, let me know how you're doing. x

1 comment:

  1. Your post title is alarmingly true. I hope things start looking up for you soon darling, 400 is actually a really good number for one day - especially considering the recommended daily allowance is 2000 (I don't know how people can eat that much though, I really don't).
    Stay strong!