Saturday, 19 December 2009

I don't want the world to see me...
because I don't think that they'd understand.

Some lyrics from a favourite song of mine, it seemed fitting. At the minute I feel like a complete mess, not only am I eating, I'm eating things that aren't even healthy. There's a difference between before this started though, when I eat now, I feel repulsed with myself.
My mind has a gross way of thinking, as soon as I eat something my mind takes over and allows me to eat anything else I want to. I think I've already ruined things so I might as well carry on. Which is stupid, the more calories I consume, the fatter I get. God, I'm on the verge of crying here.

Calorie intake (please don't be mad at me):
Soup= 60
bread roll= 175?
chocolates= 300?
Biscuits= 250
Total= 785.
And who knows what else I'll have later.

I'm sorry. X


  1. I messed up so bad today....reading this made me cry a little because I feel the EXACT same why.
    Today at around 6:00 p.m. I ate and now it's 10:30 and I just stopped eating.
    I don't know.
    Today has been horrible...I just want to start over already.

  2. When everything's made to be broken
    I just want you to know who I am.

    I love Iris too.

    Don't worry too much about the intake - it was less than 1000. As for me, day before yesterday I had a disgusting alcoholic binge. Ate a kebab. Ate ribs the next day.

    I'm up to 132 >.<


  3. Iris is a beautiful song.

    You shouldn't apologise for being human, we all have times where we give in. I even gained 2 kg over the christmas period (which I've thankfully lost again) but I justified that it was the one time of year you should be able to indulge a little :P
    Stay strong,
    SJ x

  4. Don't be sorry! Come on - fight for it! You can do this Aimee, I know you can. Never ever give up. Keep going. Strive for something better. I love reading your posts. You're strong...

    I adore that song. 'And I don't want the world to see me... cos I don't think that they'd understand. When everythings made to be broken...'

    Ugh. Right. Replace it with: Well I thought I knew you. Something something (sorry I don't know the lyrics) and then it goes... makes me work a little bit harder, make my skin a little bit thicker, something something something...


    Lol I'm pissing myself laughing now! You've made my day. I'm so stupid! Singing isn't really one of my strengths. And neither is brain function - my memory is just TRAGIC. =) Hehe

    Holly x x x