Saturday, 19 December 2009

I don't want the world to see me...
because I don't think that they'd understand.

Some lyrics from a favourite song of mine, it seemed fitting. At the minute I feel like a complete mess, not only am I eating, I'm eating things that aren't even healthy. There's a difference between before this started though, when I eat now, I feel repulsed with myself.
My mind has a gross way of thinking, as soon as I eat something my mind takes over and allows me to eat anything else I want to. I think I've already ruined things so I might as well carry on. Which is stupid, the more calories I consume, the fatter I get. God, I'm on the verge of crying here.

Calorie intake (please don't be mad at me):
Soup= 60
bread roll= 175?
chocolates= 300?
Biscuits= 250
tea.
Total= 785.
And who knows what else I'll have later.

I'm sorry. X
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4 comments:

  1. A19 December 2009 at 20:39

    I messed up so bad today....reading this made me cry a little because I feel the EXACT same why.
    Today at around 6:00 p.m. I ate and now it's 10:30 and I just stopped eating.
    I don't know.
    Today has been horrible...I just want to start over already.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Twigs Can Fly21 December 2009 at 01:33

    When everything's made to be broken
    I just want you to know who I am.

    I love Iris too.

    Don't worry too much about the intake - it was less than 1000. As for me, day before yesterday I had a disgusting alcoholic binge. Ate a kebab. Ate ribs the next day.

    I'm up to 132 >.<

    ~Twigs.
    xx.

    ReplyDelete
  3. S~J2 January 2010 at 16:23

    Iris is a beautiful song.

    You shouldn't apologise for being human, we all have times where we give in. I even gained 2 kg over the christmas period (which I've thankfully lost again) but I justified that it was the one time of year you should be able to indulge a little :P
    Stay strong,
    SJ x

    ReplyDelete
  4. Holly3 January 2010 at 08:23

    Don't be sorry! Come on - fight for it! You can do this Aimee, I know you can. Never ever give up. Keep going. Strive for something better. I love reading your posts. You're strong...

    I adore that song. 'And I don't want the world to see me... cos I don't think that they'd understand. When everythings made to be broken...'

    Ugh. Right. Replace it with: Well I thought I knew you. Something something (sorry I don't know the lyrics) and then it goes... makes me work a little bit harder, make my skin a little bit thicker, something something something...

    THANKS FOR MAKING ME A FIGHTERRRR.

    Lol I'm pissing myself laughing now! You've made my day. I'm so stupid! Singing isn't really one of my strengths. And neither is brain function - my memory is just TRAGIC. =) Hehe

    Holly x x x

    ReplyDelete

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