These jeans were made to fit me....and that's just what they'll do....either these will fit me or I'll walk all over you! (with my layers of fat)

My jeans don't fit and I have nothing to wear! What the hell is with me? I have no will power whatsoever, may as well make me twice as big now, I deserve it. What happened? Next year I demand there will be no Christmas, before that things were going okay, I was incredibly naive however at least I was happy. Now losing however many lbs seems impossible, I simply need to regain control and re-start this whole experience. Which means for the rest of the day I'm going to try and start eating "normally" ekkk! I don't think there's such a thing anymore.

Apparently it takes 20 minutes after eating to realise how full you are, which means you could have a full stomach and still be stuffing your face! Yuck.

All I want is to look smoking hot in some short-shorts for the summer. That is my aim.

Wish me luck for fitting into my jeans (: xxx
Stay stronger then me, please, I wouldn't wish this anguish on anybody!

Nice to be noticed

Sorry I haven't posted in a long time, I've been trying to be thinner and so far its working. Somehow I got through the fast, and settled my diet down from there. Today I'm feeling quite ill and plan to have pieces of one apple all through the day. Wish me luck.
Yesterday my brother said i was "just bones", I was completely thrilled, although I know I'm no where near "just bones" it nice to be noticed.
It's half term, so my skinnie minnies let your hair done and have a laugh, we all deserve it (:
Stay strong x

When you give up your dream...you die

Some people know their dream from when they're kids, they'll see something on t.v. or hear something on the radio, hey maybe they'll even see someone doing something that truly inspires them. Who knows? A dream can be anything you want it to be, you aimed towards something so huge it's unbelievable when you finally achieve it. It means something when you achieve it. Eventually we can stumble onto our dreams or they can root themselves into us so powerfully we simply can't avoid them.
Before, I thought I had no dream. No purpose. No reason to exist. This very moment I still feel like that, there wouldn't really be a change in anything if I didn't exist. Therefore there is no-one to live my life for except me, from now on I do what's best for me. Full stop.

My main dream....to be thin. To be remembered. To be the person I want to be. But mainly to be the thinnest.

Beginning this new thought process is a three day fast, after that I have no idea yet. I'm hoping to cleanse my body. Completely. I've never done a fast so long before, however failure isn't an option.

There is no ultimatum between being thin and having a boyfriend. Regrettably in the past the two have been in an either or situation, I could have only ever had one. No more I tell you, no more. Boys will see what they've been missing as I become thinner and thinner. Sorted.

I LOVE TO BLOG. Frantically I move through each day with all these thoughts and opinions I never have the courage to share, although as soon as I begin blogging, everything seems so much easier. This is helping me to show how I feel everyday, without fear of how I come off to people. The support on this blogs makes me happiest. Having people who know me in a way no-one else does, so great. You accept me as just me, just as I except you skinny minnies.



Stay strong. Feel the way you need to feel. Not the way people expect you to feel.
Aimee x x

Texting buddy (:

Well I dyed my hair. I thought new me right? No. Didn't quite work out as I'd planned, it turned out just a few shades off my original colour which wasn't what I was going for at all.
On another note, my school is going to contact my mum and talk about the behavior issues I have. Or whatever. I suppose most of my concentration goes towards calories, lbs, exercises, weight lose, Ana... not much time to focus on school work. Which probably isn't the best idea to my school since my exams are starting in a couple of weeks... oh well.
Oh. I was wondering if anyone wanted a texting buddy, I live in the UK, so anyone else who does can text me if you want. I'd love some support. If anyone's interested my email is aimee_perfectionispossible@hotmail.co.uk

Think thin my skinnie minnies xx

Exercising can be tough

Sorry I haven't been posting in a while. I am trying to keep updated with every one's blogs I promise.
For those of you interested, the 2468-fast went okay, not as well as I'd hoped for, though it was always just a beginning diet to get me back into the swing of things. For now I'm trying to eat under 600 calories a day until I figure out what to do. I was hoping to do a 3 day detox at the beginning of February, just to cleanse my body of all bad food. Until then, holy shit what will I do?
Exercise is really tough. A new revelation I've just found out. Getting rid of those calories is extremely difficult on my body at the moment, dance classes are sounding more and more inviting. The reason I don't ever lose enough weight when I'm hardly eating is because my body will make water weight, the same with everyone else. We exercise when we don't eat to get rid of that water weight. Not exercising at all isn't an option.
Good news! My XS coat, fits! Stick that where the sun don't shine, no-one thought it would fit, and guess what, it does. Its even slightly baggy around the shoulders. Sorry, I just had to say it to the people at school who didn't believe me.

Think thin lovely ladies, it seems to be all I ever do.

Anorexia

The less I eat, the less need to exercise, right? And I hate exercising completely, as well as eating.
Everyday I travel on this journey, where I haven't quite got on the train yet and I'm too far in the process of ever turning back. This allows me to see what's happening to me, I can reflect on the person I used to be and notice the changes that have already happened. Whether or not it works, I'm in this for good, no questions asked. Am I trying to become a weight I'm happy with or am I just trying to be an anorexic?

Honestly, I think it's both.
Still thinking x

Stupid me

How the hell have I not been getting enormously fat every single day? I had to have a huge group of girls in my p.e. class today argue about anorexia to explain things to me. Fml.

"...the more calories you eat, the more energy you have, but sometimes people don't burn off what they eat, this means they become...?" sir asked
"fat!" one girl shouted out.
"over-weight" sir corrected.
"sir, what about anorexics?" a stupid brat asked.
"well they don't eat as much as their bodies need, and what they do eat, they burn off through intense exercise."
"yeah but what about their water-weight? don't they starve themselves but don't lose weight because their body builds up water weight."
hmm...really I thought.
"actually, they usually work that off too."
hooray I cheered...silently in my head of course.

It was then we began working out, and I work really hard for around 30 minutes on the tread-mill and only burned of 200. Where have I been for the past few months? I'm a pathetic person.

x