Sunday, 31 January 2010
When you give up your dream...you die
Some people know their dream from when they're kids, they'll see something on t.v. or hear something on the radio, hey maybe they'll even see someone doing something that truly inspires them. Who knows? A dream can be anything you want it to be, you aimed towards something so huge it's unbelievable when you finally achieve it. It means something when you achieve it. Eventually we can stumble onto our dreams or they can root themselves into us so powerfully we simply can't avoid them.
Before, I thought I had no dream. No purpose. No reason to exist. This very moment I still feel like that, there wouldn't really be a change in anything if I didn't exist. Therefore there is no-one to live my life for except me, from now on I do what's best for me. Full stop.
My main dream....to be thin. To be remembered. To be the person I want to be. But mainly to be the thinnest.
Beginning this new thought process is a three day fast, after that I have no idea yet. I'm hoping to cleanse my body. Completely. I've never done a fast so long before, however failure isn't an option.
There is no ultimatum between being thin and having a boyfriend. Regrettably in the past the two have been in an either or situation, I could have only ever had one. No more I tell you, no more. Boys will see what they've been missing as I become thinner and thinner. Sorted.
I LOVE TO BLOG. Frantically I move through each day with all these thoughts and opinions I never have the courage to share, although as soon as I begin blogging, everything seems so much easier. This is helping me to show how I feel everyday, without fear of how I come off to people. The support on this blogs makes me happiest. Having people who know me in a way no-one else does, so great. You accept me as just me, just as I except you skinny minnies.
Stay strong. Feel the way you need to feel. Not the way people expect you to feel.
Aimee x x